after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
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I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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