whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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