Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
