to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
