I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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