Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
