Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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