It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
