does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
