She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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