she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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