:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
