He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
