Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Are my feet made of real feet?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
