Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
