Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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