Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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