just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
