he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize