Whatcha textin bout Willis?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
