I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
the raccoons are back...
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