One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
