I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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