The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Randomize