im holly from the hills drunk
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
