I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm passing your future prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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