It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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