i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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