I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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