Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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