Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
