If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
