Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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