so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
