I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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