Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
