Only a mothe r could love this liver
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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