It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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