The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
