Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
