is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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