you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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