1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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