he wants to bone in the snuggie
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
