Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
