I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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