her vagine was all disorganized.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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