I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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