have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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