Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
