I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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