I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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