i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
