She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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