So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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