I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
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