Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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