Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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