yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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