She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
